The false light of hate

I have been working on a large paper for a class over the last three months and I really need to finish it in the next two weeks.  The pressure is on... but I am deciding to spend my time blogging about something I read today. Let me quote as quoted by Maria Mies. These are not her words:

"It is obvious... that the natives have to disappear from the land where they grazed their cattle till now so that the White Man can graze his cattle on the same land. If one asks for a moral justification of this standpoint the answer is that people who live on a cultural level similar to that of the South African natives must lose their free, national barbarianism.  They must be developed to a class of workers, getting wages and bread from the Whites, if they want their higher right of existence..."

This was a man talking concerning the genocide of Africans by the Germans.  There is so much that can be analyzed even in these few sentences.  So many assumptions are revealed.  So much unrecognized disdain that is obvious to me as an outsider of the situation.  I could break this apart... but that's not my point.

When I first read this, I cried.  This shows me how blind we are as people to our biases.  We can be considered "moral" by society but be filled with so much hatred towards "the other." And our hatred is difficult to recognize because society justifies it.  It says our hatred is necessary in order for us to survive.

Reading this makes me think about present-day America.  I think of the way we value the American life which causes us to devalue and rationalize away the life of "the other".  We have been told that others must die, women, children, the elderly, so that we can live.  If we don't take care of them first, they might get us.  And because we have a lot of money and power, we can get away with it.

I am afraid of falling into such thinking.  Hatred can come in a subtle disguise.  It is easily justified.  We feel okay labeling "us" and "them".  But it seems to me that the us and them mentality should be obliterated.  In doing so, however, we open ourselves to much risk. 

A Little Feminist Scenario

So yesterday, our team... composed of me, Stephanie (team leader), Matt and Mimi (our office assistant) took a trip to the bank to get our accounts squared away.  We had a lot to do in one sitting for the team.  In the middle our time there, Matt and I decided we should actually become grown-ups and open an account here.  You know, become a bit more established.

Anyway, upon our request, the bankers gave me two forms (as I am the primary signer on the account because I have a more permanent visa here), and she gave Matt one form to fill out.  I filled out mine, gave them to the lady and waited for the next step.  

Matt had been focusing on something else and the lady said he needed to fill that out before we could make an account.  She saw he had not filled it out yet, moved it in front of me, and said "Don't worry, your wife can fill it out." She did this all seriously and with a lovely smile.  

I guffawed, said "No way, " and slid the sheet back to Matt. We made jokes about it and Matt began to fill out the paper.  While he was doing so, the bank lady said to Mimi, "If he was married to a Filipina, she would fill it out for him.  We like to serve our husbands." Implying that because I would not feed into male priviledge, I don't serve Matt well.  I like to serve Matt.  And when papers need to be filled out and he is not around, I have no problem filling them out for him.  

However, the fact that Matt was sitting next to me, able handed as can be, kept me from doing this menial task for him.  The fact is, he could do it.  I had finished my 2 minute form and wanted to also twiddle my thumbs for a couple minutes. That does not mean I don't serve Matt.  I just don't want to believe that I have to do all the menial tasks that many in society believe should be delegated to women.  Especially when Matt is just as present and able to complete the task as menially as me!

This scene had a tinge of hilarity in it.  After we left the bank, I got to thinking, should I just do that stuff for him?  What if I am not serving him well?  Then, I got past my insecurity and realized that I could play into social pressure, but where would it get me?

To me, this scenario revealed the subtleties of socially constructed gender norms.  These norms tell us how a "good wife" acts or what a "true man" does.  The genesis of these norms are hotly debated.  Much of the world functions mindlessly within the gender norms.  They are often arbitrary but people get labeled as good or bad for compliance or failure to follow these norms.  These norms are perpetuated from one generation to the next until someone stops and asks, "Why is it that my husband must be the sole breadwinner?" or "Why does a woman have to stay at home to be a good mother?" Once the questions are asked, they can inquire into what is most beneficial for their families.

I can go on and on about this.. but I will save you the ear-full. Upon closing, I am glad to say that I was not guilted into filling out Matt's paper.  I was troubled for a couple minutes about my actions... but then I remembered some of my professors and reminded myself that two of them have been happily married for 25+ years and they definitely don't fall into the trap of what society tells them they have to be to be loving wives...

For one of my classes, we need to visit a community organization and document the work they are doing in their communities.  Last Saturday, Lisa (my classmate) and I visited the organization we had chosen. We visited their site in the squatter community.  We saw their situation and heard their stories. 

We learned a lot from talking to them in person.  But most of all, I was impressed by the community.  It is a coastal community.  It's right by Manila Bay.  That means, when it rains, it floods! 

It rained while we were there.  Upon leaving, we found the path we took into the squatter community had become a swimming pool.  Literally, the water was at least knee deep.  One of the residence showed us an alternative route.  We found our way out of the community but discovered leaving would be a challenge.  The street had become a river! I wish I had had a camera with me.  It was a fantastic sight!

A man came by with an empty pedicab (a bike with a side car and two seats).  We hopped in and he peddled us out.  The water flooded the floor of the sidecar and we had to ride with our feet up.  People were wading through the water, even people who looked like they had just returned from their jobs in the city! It was crazy.

I could not imagine living in a situation like that.  People here are so used to their houses flooding.  They seem to adapt and accept it as the way of life.  

A Little Preservatives Please!!!

I have always loved to eat popcorn on Sunday nights. My family used to air pop it and put salt and a little butter on it. Masarap! (Delicious in Tagalog) I used to eat enough to fill up. It was our Sunday family dinner/ snack.

Since moving here, Matt and I have begun to carry on this tradition. However, we do not have an airpopper or a microwave. But we have found that one can put the corn in a kettle with some canola oil and pop it over the stove. Then just sprinkle on some salt and ... wahlah! A realitively light dinner.

One problem we have encountered is that the grocery stores do not consistantly carry this basic popcorn. Some days we find it, others we don't.

So one day, we were CRAVING popcorn and could not find the stove pop kind. So we decided to buy some microwave popcorn, open the bag and pop it on the stove. Seemed like a good plan...

... But, have you ever looked at an unpopped bag of microwave popcorn? No? Don't try it... you'll never eat the stuff again!

...upon opening the bag, I was grossed out. The insides of a prepopped, microwave popcorn bag is disgusting! The butter is orange... bright orange... and stinky. I saw what I put in my body when I ate the stuff. It could keep my dead body intact for weeks... especially if I ate it every Sunday.

Although Matt and I were thoroughly grossed out, our popcorn craving took over. We popped it, ate it, and wish had never made that choice. Never again... at least not if I have to see it before I pop it. Yuck.

The end of last month, I had an exposure trip to a wonderful community with my class. This community, Balinggasa, is full of beautiful, empowered women. Some of the women in the community have been working to change the situation of women for decades. From what I understood (or what was translated to me) the network of women they have organized (PATAMABA) has many avenues for change.

They have a large network of women working in the informal sector. This means that women are working from the home... kind of under the table... and it also means that they have little protection and rights. They do not qualify for social security or for health coverage. The network is working to change this. They want more protection for informal workers.

Not only are these women working to change the livelihood of women and their families, they are working to bring awareness and change women's social situation. It's cool to see how this has worked. The women were fun to talk to about this... but the men were even more fun! One man explained things to me. He said that PATAMABA had one of my professors come in and run a gender-sensitivity training for the women and men. He was excited because this time was enlightening for him. He recognized how women were viewed by men. He saw how he played into the situation as well.

He said that now, things in his house are more even. He consistantly does household chores. He says that he watches the kids about half the time so his wife can do what she is passionate about. He made me laugh because he was so animated about these things. He was excited because the community is seeking to be more empowered as a whole. Pretty fun.

Although the community is working hard to empower ALL its people, they faced challenges. They said some women are not allowed to pursue work or be a part of the community. Some men still spend the family's wages on drink and gambling. But the women are doing what they can. They recognize how far they have come and how far they still need to go. It seems like they are moving forward as they can.

The Fall: A Reenactment

So, the other day, I had one of those days. You know, those days which start off beautifully but turn crazy through random events.

I was concentrating and enjoying my walk from the jeep drop-off to my class. I get to meander down a long road with trees and lots of people. This particular day, I had a peaceful morning and I was ready for my class. I was ready for one of my last finals of the semester!

I was walking and watching people. I was also enjoying my tea drink in the hot summer sun. This means, I was unaware of my footsteps. This also means that I was unaware of the random fruit peels people dispose of while walking...fruit peels that may look like the one below!



As I was walking past a large group of people buying food, I happened to step directly on one of these fruit peels and...
Wham!
Smoosh!
Splat!



... I slipped and sprawled out on the ground. In the process of falling, I managed to splurt my tea drink all up my arm! The group of people looked at me as I quickly gathered myself. My pride was hurt; I was ready to get out of there before people began laughing at the big, white girl who slipped on a mango peel and had her drink explode on her arm!

As I continued to walking to class, I realized that slipping on a banana peel is not an urban legend. It really could happen... especially in cities where trash cans are few and far between! As I walked farther from the scene of the incident, I thought about how occurrences such as this help me not take myself too seriously. What a crazy life...

Kicked out of the country? Not today

So March 8 was International Women's Day! (March is Women's Month... have a happy month beautiful women of the world.)

The name International Women's Day can be deceiving. People may imagine women gathering together having tea parties or something like that and celebrating their femininity. But that's not quite it.

Women come together to celebrate solidarity, fight against injustices women face the world over, rally against the war in Iraq... you name it, women stand together against it. International Women's day can be a very threatening day for some governments. Last year, a country in the M.E. arrested its female activists before the day so they could not gather together.

Anyway, all this is to give an introduction to my participation in International Women's Day 2008 (its centennial year). Two of my classes decided to join the day's march for a class project. We prepared statements, made signs, all that sort of stuff. I was ready to go.

Now, here in the PI, there have been groups trying to oust the president. I did not realize that some women's groups had planned the March 8 rally to be a platform against the president. I knew it would be mixed in... but I didn't realize it would be the main concern of the day.

In light of this fact, my participation looked like this:
1- I got out of the car, heard "Gloria out now!" and thought, "Crap, I shouldn't be here."
2- I spent one hour standing there, talking to classmates, taking pictures trying to look like a tourist as the crowd around me shouted, "Gloria out now!"

3- I successfully dodged the news media until they approached me (darn big, white face that doesn't exactly blend in here!)

(My classmates and professor... and an uncomfortable me)

4- I told the news media they could not interview me and put me on tv. I had to explain that it was illegal for me to be at a rally against the government, and if I spoke against the president, I would lose my visa. When that reason did not work, I told them I promised Matt that I would stay under the radar.
5- I left...
6- on the ride home, I thought about the fact that is was difficult to communicate why I didn't exactly feel comfortable at a protest against the president. My classmates say, "Corruption is a woman's issue." It is and...
7- I concluded that as much as corruption may be a woman's issue, I did not want to risk loosing my visa. Plain and simple.